A Question for those with visible disabilities to ponder about disability and its effect on gender formation?

In your opinion does having a visible disability hinder/destroy traditional gender roles or expand/reform them in both men and women? Those with disabilities and those non disabled people close to disability can answer this, but provide examples generally and from your life to back up your answer either way.



For example in the past a boy with a moderate to severe physical disability (like me) was seen as at risk for being a homosexual simply because he couldn't play rough and do the things that ';normal'; boys would/could do. It's was assumed he would spend all his time in the company of older women in the house and that no girl would would want to be attracted to/seen relationally with a ';weak cripple.'; He eventually would be made into a sissy and be vulnerable to Communist threats. (A bunch of mostly bullshit in my opinion, but it was, at one time, seen as reasonable.) Then there are men who react to disability by displaying hyper masculinity and trying to ';get tough'; and ';beat it'; (more utter nonsense in my opinion as most disabilities are lifelong and if you can't accept some limitations and depend on other people for what is needed than it is just unnecessary struggle to appear ';inspirational'; and come out in the non disabled world on top as ';better'; than others who have the same disability or disabilities in general. I have also heard about women who have experienced the two fold passivity they were supposed to take upon themselves as women with a disability and wanted no part of it and thus ';reformed their gender expression'; to be more genderless or typically masculine because of their disability, among other factors.



Personally, having a disability as a man is interesting to say the least for me with regard to gender because I don't (as with most men with disability I gather) fit into the typical male prototype physically or otherwise. I have a masculine identity (watching sports, bullshitting with guys about which celebrity women are hot etc), but I can say with all honesty that having a disability has made me ';more feminine'; than most guys because I have been around a lot of women from an earlier age simply because of surgeries, physical therapy, aunts, mother (because I can't physically work) add to that the fact that I'm naturally sensitive, introspective, and tuned to beauty (into poetry and such) and there is a feminine side/gender identity to me. I'm equally likely to comment specifically on a woman's clothes/makeup choice etc. (and then say she is hot and want to make out-- It's weird I know lol!) Generally, this gender queerness is a positive thing for me, although it be hard to balance. I have no homosexual inclination (proof of the above bullshit), but I can say from experience that a severe disability CAN and DOES feminize a man who is predisposed if he takes a certain nonchalant approach to being around women in his childhood (because that is where he will generally find himself if has medical problems/a long term disability.) The only hindrance my disability and experiences has on my gender is trying to convince ignorant women that I still find them attractive physically and sexually appealing even if I need to routinely let my hair down in a manner of speaking.



So what do you think about this issue? How has having a disability reshaped expanded or hindered your own personal gender expression or does it even matter enough to warrant a chair at the table here? Was/is it a positive or negative experience in your opinion? Do you know men (and women) who could relate similar stories to mine...how has your personal experience been different?



Thanks to all who read and answer. :)



p.s. All my love to the gender queer/trans gender/ gay/lesbian population from a Catholic Christian (yes that is another ball I have to juggle in my ever changing gender presentation in my kinky head LOL!, but seriously I've become quite an expert at juggling, especially the religious side of this complex situation.



Screw the ignorant ';righteous'; assholes, have the courage to be yourself in all situations %26lt;3 %26lt;3A Question for those with visible disabilities to ponder about disability and its effect on gender formation?
I admit to only skimming your post. Gender identity and gender expression/roles are all different things.



Seeing as how you've received no other replies here...



I've emailed you (through the Yahoo Answers system) the links to a few recent blog entries by others that get into this very subject. I'm hesitant to post the url's here, so please check your inbox.



And to keep on topic: Disability doesn't strip away one's sexuality or gender - but far too many people seem to think otherwise, unfortunately.A Question for those with visible disabilities to ponder about disability and its effect on gender formation?
I think it does effect gender formation in people with developmental disabilities. My son went through the curious questioning stage far longer than his peers without disabilities. This led him and others to think his gender was formed and he was is gay - when I thought it was simply still unformed. As it turned out many years later, he is most definitely not gay. (Not that I would mind if he was.)



Chiliswoman/ Teddy's Mom