Tuesday, May 31, 2011

How do you deal with someone who wants to change genders?

let me start by saying that I'm young.

and I know not the real ways of the world, so I come to yahoo answers to assist me in my time of need.

so I really like this girl i just met at school a while back.

but I just found out in a kind of difficult way that she would really rather be a guy.

but not it's so strange.

I mean, how can I like a girl thats a guy?

I know all that ';judge a person by their character, not sex organs'; stuff is true, but its such a strange wake up call.

does anyone have any advice about what the proper reaction to a situation like this is?How do you deal with someone who wants to change genders?
The proper reation is to respect him for who he is. He is certain he was born male, just in the wrong body. This problem is more common than you know. Just be supportive of your friendHow do you deal with someone who wants to change genders?
First you understand that they are not trying to change their gender...they are trying to do something that allows them to be the gender they already are despite the body they were born with.

So keep liking him, support him, be a friend because he's going to need a lot of friends. Go on line and educate yourself about what your friend is going to do.

It's OK to be taken aback when you learn something like this but if he is your friend tell him how you feel right now and maybe get him to explain it to you a little better.

It's not your gender identity. It's his...and get used to the pronoun because that's appropriate for this situation.

You like this person. Right? Well, what about this person do you really like? I'll bet the reasons you like him have to do with more than him having been a girl (which he never was anyway). Look into his eyes and you will see the same person. Look inside yourself first. It's not up to you to judge your friend...just love and support him on his very long journey.

He has been very uncomfortable in a body that did not match his gender for many years. Try to understand that and dwell on your reaction.
';Gender'; is not defined by the physical body, it is what is within the brain. Your friend is not trying to ';change';, she/he is trying to adjust the outside to fit the inside. The best way for you to deal with this is to just accept your friend and stand beside them. Don't judge .. study, learn and share your love for them as a Person... NOT a genital, but a gender based Person.



You might want to read ';She's Not There'; by Jenny Boylan. And the 2 books by Helen Boyd, ';My Husband Betty'; and ';She's not the Man I Married';. Although they are more focused on Male to Female changes ... the inner concepts stand true for Female to Male.
Just allow them to be who they are. If they are a free spirit then let them fly. Cherish the friendship. Sometimes nature has rules we do not understand
Yeah, react to this situation the same way you would react if you discovered that one of your best friends likes to eat cheeseburgers.

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