Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Is my family and friends in denial and in non-acceptance about my name then gender change?

I got a name change about 10 months ago and nobody uses the new name. It is if they don't care or even attempt to even try to use it at all. It angers me every time I hear the previous name because I am T so therefore it links to an old self I am leaving.



Because of how everyone is still using the same damn name for soo long, I have lost the excitment of starting over into a new life.



It looks like to me if they can't accept and utilize my new name, what about my new gender?



What should I do to help them change from using the old name as well as what could being going through their heads about me?Is my family and friends in denial and in non-acceptance about my name then gender change?
Simply refuse to answer to your old name. It's disrespectful of them to use your old name, even if they are understandably still more comfortable with it. You may have to move and start over somewhere else where your old identity is not known to be able to truly start over as your new identity.Is my family and friends in denial and in non-acceptance about my name then gender change?
Ignore them when they use the old name. Don't give in to them. Make it known that this is who you are!!!
Gender reassignment aside, changing your name is pretentious. They're probably expressing anger over your sex change, but I would do it because I don't give people the latitude to arbitrarily change things about themselves that I'd spent years learning about. A rose by another name is not a rose, it's a misnomer. Altria is still Philip Morris, Xe is still Blackwater, and you are still the name yer mama gave you. You are who you were.
Give them time these kind of things are always hard for parents to accept.
Why don't you TRY BEING A LITTLE MORE SENSITIVE TO THEM?



You've been their son/brother for your ENTIRE LIFE. You can't just ask them to think of you as a girl or call you by something other than what they have been calling you your entire life.



One of the biggest problems I have with the transgendered and gay community is that they think they deserve to be treated better just because they are gay. STOP TRYING TO DISGUISE YOUR QUEST FOR SUPERIORITY BY CALLING IT EQUALITY.



This is a rough and rocky time for you, I understand that. But think about what it's doing to them. I consider myself an EXTREMELY liberal conservative when it comes to the gay/transgendered community. Most transgendered people would be ecstatic just to have their parents accept them and continue to love them after coming out of the closet. But for the rest of you it just seems like you're not happy unless you can victimize yourself.



Stop making the fact that you're gay or transgendered the only personality trait you have, because quite frankly, IT'S PATHETIC, and makes everyone else think of you as one dimensional.



To the tard below (har) me:



I don't have to understand transsexuals personally to know that the OP is incredibly ******* selfish. You read that I was a conservative and you popped the 'u dunt understandz me!11 gawsh!'; card, predictably I might add.



If my brother was transitioning into a woman I'd still call him by his original name, because it would be hard enough to watch him grow ttits without having to call himfucking Elizabeth.



I realize that transgendered people go through rough times. But just because not everyone you know doesn't call you by a girl name doesn't mean they are heartless or don't WANT to understand or accept you.



Try being a little bit more sensitive to the people who love you, because they are going through a hard time with it too.
I know someone who is fully transitioned who addressed this issue. She said, ';Let them call you what they want. They are the ones who are going to look like idiots when they call someone who is obviously a woman by a man's name or someone who is obviously a man by a woman's name.'; The same thing goes with pronouns.



Another person I know said, ';Tell your family that there is also a security issue. Some people will attack people who are thought to be transsexual.';



And don't answer to the old name at all, ever. Train yourself to ignore anyone who calls you by the old name completely. Then when they demand to know why you're ignoring them, simply tell them you didn't hear your name. If they say they were calling you, then say that is no longer my name - use my legal name.



And to Honestly, now: Anyone else who gets a legal name change expects to be called by the legal name, why should a transsexual be treated any differently?

And to LOL SUP: I don't know where your anger comes from, but it is definitely misplaced here. You have no understanding of a transsexual's life and feelings, and it seems as though you don't want to know. We just want to be treated as the people we are. Don't you want to be treated as the person you are? I'm sure you do. How would you feel if someone treated you as the opposite of what you are all your life? Think about it.
First, congrats on your life-changing events. I respect someone who knows what they want and who attempts to seek it out no matter what anyone thinks or says.



Second, although I'm not LGBT, maybe I can bring something from the other side of the table. People are creatures of habit. They have always seen you in a certain way, and breaking that view is hard for them, like a parent who, no matter how old their child gets, still views them as that little 3-year-old who stole their heart. And possibly they are in denial about your chosen changes... maybe seeing this as something that will pass.



Just keep reminding them that this is who you are, have actually always been inside, and that your new name is a fresh start for you. And, like another person said, don't answer when they use your old name. Eventually, they'll get it.



Keep your chin up and live your life. And make it a great one!
Some will never understand Us, so I say ignore them and move on in your life. Or you can stay in the same way as now. It is up to you.
When they use your old name don't answer them. Don't even acknowledge the old name. If you have friends, bring them around. Make sure that they call you by your new name a lot. When you answer the phone say this is ';your new name';. Also you can write your name on all your stuff. When they hear and see it enough eventually they will finally get use to it. They may not like it, but oh well.

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