Question about gender and love?

Okay, not many people know a lot about this sort of situation, so i'm just going to assume that the people who do answer, know a lot more then I do. So here's the deal in a matter-of-fact way. I have a female body, but my mind is male. I have a girlfriend. I've talked to her about my gender (and the fact that I want a sex change) before and she says that it's scary to view me as male. I don't see how this works since my mind is one already.. and that's how it's always been. But then when I suddenly bring it up, she gets scared and doubts her own love for me. She is unbelievably lesbian and doesn't find men's bodies attractive at all. So here's my question: Are we not meant for each other?



I mean.. I love her more then anything in life; you could say she's my reason for living. She feels the exact same love for me. but won't accept a gender change. Every other problem i've ever had before (suicide attempts, cutting, self hate) she understands and helps me through, but she just can't accept a change in my body. I don't want to lose her, yet I can't stand the thought of living as a female for the rest of my life. I know that attraction is a big part of a relationship so... I don't know.. I hope this makes sense; It's a big topic for just one question.Question about gender and love?
It is a big topic but it sounds like you have a decision to make - your partner is a lesbian and she wants to be with a woman; you can't continue to live as a woman and she can't become heterosexual.



If you must go through with the surgery, then you at least will know on the front end you risk losing the woman you love.



It is a very big price to pay but only you - and your partner - can decide what's best for both of you.Question about gender and love?
I have never heard it explained that way.

I am straight, and can't even imagine what that must be like.

Very eye opening.

I don't know what the problem would be if you just had the top done.

You said she has never seen anyway.

Maybe she thinks that you will get the lower part done, and she is afraid of that thing.

Good luck to you what ever happens.
Maybe she loves you the way u are..

And maybe she likes your body now.. it turns her on etc..

And it could scare her 4 u 2 get sumthing so serious done cos of the dangers. She fell in love with u as a girl. she would prb find it hard to adapt to such changes. Also, if shes a lesbian she wont want a male form.. thats jus my opinon!
here is the problem, from what I can tell your girlfriend is a lesbian, which means she is not really attracted to men so by tuning your self into a male physically you are taking aways some of the attraction she toward you
I think that your partner is thinking that if she wanted to be with a man then she would be with one.and if you have the change then you will have a penis and she dont want that..

Todd in Ohio
Honestly, if she knows that she won't be able to love you the same way after the sex change then it won't work. She is a lesbian who is in love with the female body as well as the female gender. I think at the moment it's a tad bit uncomfortable for her to understand/process. I would give her some time to come to grips with it. Undergoing a sex change is easier said then done, and it will be awhile before the actual hormone therapy/surgery is started/done.



Talk about it some more...
I know more about this situation than most. I have known people who are trans and some people who were partnered with people who were trans.



I think this is a really tough situation and you have to give your girlfriend some time to grasp this. I think some lesbians have a hard time getting their heads round the concept of their partners becoming 'guys' because that makes them seem straight to the world. She might even be questioning her own sexuality?



I don't know if your relationship can be saved, but I am sure that you can talk this through with your girlfriend and listen to her concerns too. Tell her how you are feeling. Lots of communication is key.



I hope it works out for you.